OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF FAILURE

Fear of failure is one of the greatest fears people have. Fear of failure is closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection. Successful people overcome their fear of failure. Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people.

The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.

people who have fear of failure often have difficulty in pushing themselves forward, to achieve their goals. this usually occurs because of a mindset that tells them they would fail at whatever they do.

DEALING WITH FEAR OF FAILURE: A simple technique you can use to overcome fear of failure is to use something called progressive collapse. this involves first thinking about all the bad things that would happen if you didn't do something.

Then ask yourself what would happen after that, and after that, and after that, keep going until you could find the extreme of the worst that could possibly happen. often you would find out that the worst thing you thought of was not so bad after all and most of the time it won't even happen.

Another method you can use is do things you are purposely afraid of. usually when people have a fear of failure it becomes a habit. and consequently they give in to fear without even thinking about it. if you recognise this habit in yourself, you will be able to identify times when you are purposefully avoiding doing something because of the fear you associate with it.

however by purposefully going ahead and doing the things you fear eventually you would break that habit.

the more you give into fear, the more fear would control and restrain your life. the more you resist fear, the less fear would control your life, and more liberated you would feel.

CONCIOUS MIND AND SUBCONCIOUS MIND

Unknown to our concious mind, we are more often than not, acting or thinking because of deep-rooted impressions in our subconcious mind.We all know something about our conscious mind. At least we can make certain presumptions about our consciousness .Consciousness for most of us is the fact of the awareness or our thinking, feeling, and doing. certain acts are performed reflexively or without conscious awareness. For instance, mind goes on thinking bad thoughts despite attempts to control them.From where such thoughts as anger, lust, jealousy, hatred and even desire to harm the other come? Same is the case with good or noble thoughts also. selflesness takes control over some people to the extent that these people give up everything and start working for the welfare of the world. where do these thoughts arise from? they arrive from our subconcious mind.

For instance there is silent unseen tendency to drink alchohol or to smoke in our subconscious mind. Necessary conditions in the form of a friend, a bar, a cigarette vendor, etc. , bring forth the desire to drink or to smoke, and we are in there! Another person has a latent tendency to seek God. The necessary external stimuli in the form of a scriptural text, meeting a Holy person, visiting a temple (or Church,) etc. attracts him/her, and what a wonder! The person is totally immersed in various spiritual practices, becomes God centered. There never was any conscious effort or desire or thought to drink, smoke, or to seek God. But fulfillment of necessary conditions was responsible for the particular behavior.

"But what about free will? Can we not choose the way we will react to given conditions and circumstances? Yes, we can choose; but the will is not absolutely free will. is there a way out? there is We have to empty the mind of all unwanted subconscious impressions and tendencies, we have to control and handle both conscious and subconscious mind. Our actions, thinking, and feeling should be such that the subconscious mind is cleansed of its dirty contents.

"Suppose you had the problem of cleaning a dirty oil bottle that is fastened to the table. You can't pick it up and empty the oil out. What will you do? You pour clean water in and the oil and the dirt will spill out. You keep pouring in clean water until all the oil and dirt have been washed out and the bottle contains nothing but clean water. In the same way, it is not possible to empty the mind by throwing out the contents of consciousness and making it blank; but what one can do is to keep pouring clean water of the thought of Good "Suppose you had the problem of cleaning a dirty oil bottle that is fastened to the table. You can't pick it up and empty the oil out. What will you do? You pour clean water in and the oil will spill out. You keep pouring in clean water until all the oil has been washed out and the bottle contains nothing but clean water.

In the same way, it is not possible to empty the mind by throwing out the contents of consciousness and making it blank; but what one can do is to keep pouring clean water of the thought of God into the mind until the dirt spills out." During spilling out of this dirt, our character may appear miserable and suspect, but that is natural during the cleaning operation. One may feel dejected and depressed, and therefore, guidance of a spiritual teacher and
association with holy company is necessary.

SELF MOTIVATION

Staying motivated is a struggle, our drive is constantly assaulted by negative thoughts and anxiety about the future. everyone faces doubt and depression what separates the highly successful is the ability to keep moving forward. the is no solution for lack of motivation. even after beating it, the problem re-appears at the first sign of failure. the key is understanding your thoughts and how they drive your emotions. There are three primary reasons why we loose motivation

1. lack of confidence:if you don't believe you can succeed whats the point in trying?
2. lack of focus: if you don't know what you want, do you really want anything?
3. lack of direction:if you don't know what to do, how can you be motivated to do it?

HOW TO BOOST CONFIDENCE: the first motivation killer is lack of confidence, when this happens to me its because i'm focusing on what i want and neglecting what i already have. when you think about what you want, your mind creates explanation for why you are not getting it, this creates negative thoughts, past failures and personal weakness dominate your mind. you become jealous of others. and start making excuses why you can't succeed in this state you tend to make a bad impression. assume the worst about others, and loose self confidence. we tend to take our strength for granted and dwell on our failures. set aside time to focus on evrything positive in your life. make a mental list of your past successes and current advantages. by making an effort to feel grateful you'll realize how sucessful you already are. this would rejuvenate your confidence, and get you motivated to build on your current success. when you truly believe that you deserve your mind will generate ways to achieve it.

DEVELOPING FOCUS: the second motivation killer is lack of focus. how often do you focus of what you want? We normally think in terms of fear. I’m afraid of being poor. I’m afraid no one will respect me. I’m afraid of being alone. The problem with this type of thinking is that fear alone isn’t actionable. Instead of doing something about our fear, it feeds on itself and drains our motivation. the first step is focusing that energy on a well defined goal. By defining a goal, you automatically define a set of actions. If you have a fear of poverty, create a plan to increase your income. By focusing your mind on a positive goal instead of an ambiguous fear, you put your brain to work. It instantly begins devising a plan for success. Instead of worrying about the future you start to do something about it. This is the first step in motivating yourself to take action. when you know what you want you become motivated to take action

DIRECTION: If focus means having an ultimate goal, direction is having a day-to-day strategy to achieve it. A lack of direction kills motivation because without an obvious next action we succumb to procrastination. An example of this is a person who wants to have a popular blog, but who spends more time reading posts about blogging than actually writing articles.The key to finding direction is identifying the activities that lead to success. For every goal, there are activities that pay off and those that don’t. Make a list of all your activities and arrange them based on results. Then make a make an action plan that focuses on the activities that lead to big returns.

the positive and negative effects of excessive Internet use on undergraduate students.

These effects consists of seven dimensions namely:behavioral problems, interpersonal problems, educational problems, psychological problems, physical problems, Internet abuse, and positive effects excessive Internet use can lead to a host of problems of educational, physical, psychological and interpersonal nature. However, a greater number of students report positive than negative effects of Internet use.

Without negating the advantages of Internet, i would suggest that Internet use should be within reasonable limits focusing more on activities enhancing one’s productivity. world wide internet usage has tripled in the last few years today the internet is easily accessible in schools, colleges, and public places. the internet has become mandatory in business both for the seller and the consumer in addition the cost of computers is becoming more affordable so the number of home computers is rapidly on the rise. with such accessibility the internet has become an integral part of our lives. the internet allows the user a range of practical application such as the ability to conduct research. with the internet you could major in philosophy but have a broad understanding of human resources if you read articles and visit sites.

Like any other means of communication the internet has both beneficial and negative consequences. healthy internet used can be determined by analyzing the positive changes in behaviour and psychological state the distinction between healthy and unhealthy internet use depends on the amount of time spent on it and the kind of activities one engages in. excessive time spent on the internet on purposeless activities often takes people away from their actual goals.